“Your relationship isn’t where you go to get fixed.
It’s where you go to get tuned.”
Glenn S. Cohen
@CenterForNI
Your relationship is like a piano, it needs tuning. When you're out of sync, the music of your connection turns into noise. But when you and your partner begin to harmonize, you create a melody that soothes the soul. This harmony is born when I and U become WE.
The WE space is the dynamic field between your inner world and your partner's. Its health depends on how well you understand your triggers, patterns, and attachment needs. Do the patterns in your relationship pull you closer or push you away? Do they bring joy or confusion? Do they help you grow, or do they cause you to shut down and blame?
To stay in tune, your nervous system needs to feel safe. This means your core attachment needs of safety, certainty, and trust must be met. These aren’t luxuries. They are the base notes that stabilize your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being. Without them, disconnection takes the lead.
Later in life, your attachment needs evolve. You seek connection and significance, an inner knowing that you matter, belong, and are accepted. If these needs go unmet, your system interprets it as danger. That’s when the past shows up in the present. You may react from unresolved pain, forming beliefs and behaviors to protect your wounded parts.
But here’s the gift: Every time you’re triggered, you’re being invited to heal. Your partner might unknowingly activate your old wounds but it’s also through this activation that you have the chance to grow. When both of you are willing to turn toward instead of away, the WE becomes a sacred space of transformation. This is where love becomes alchemy.
Think of your relationship like a pair of dance shoes. When they’re broken in just right, you move together in rhythm and grace. But if the fit is off, every step becomes friction. You can’t force flow, you have to adjust, soften, and sync. So, when your relationship feels out of sync, what step can you take to soften the friction and restore your rhythm?
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story. Visit my website centerforni.com to schedule an initial interview session. You can also tune into my bi-weekly podcast, Lessons of Life, Love, and Healing, on Apple or Spotify. Subscribe to my Substack blog for daily reflections and as a gift, enjoy my CNI – Spiritual Soulful Healing Playlist on Spotify.
With big hugs and lots of love,
God bless,
Glenn 🙏🌻
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